Dreams….. What a pain in my ass. I keep having the same reoccurring dreams that involve the house we lived in when my daughter was younger and the apartments we looked at and lived in when we were 18 and moved out. I just realized earlier today that I could just google them and check them out now. I don’t know why this didn’t cross me earlier. I don’t understand what any of this is supposed to mean and why the same things keep appearing in my dreams. They aren’t as scary as before sometimes disturbing but mostly weird. They keep me up sometimes it makes it hard for me to understand if I am awake or sleeping.
My anxiety is bad today. I can feel it pushing my chest in filling my lungs and it makes it so much harder to breath. This feeling when I am at work is overbearing. I don’t want people to know how much I am suffering especially lately but it is almost impossible to hide now. My anxiety turns into paranoia quickly so when paranoia happens the rest comes along. The paranoia makes the man come out and the man is the most hated of everything I go through. So many people don’t believe that he exists but he is there and extremely real to me.