This is what I couldn’t say

This is what I don’t know how to say and since you don’t like all the fluff in the middle I will list them for you.

1.) I am numb

2.) I am sad (yes you can be both.)

3.) My suicidal thoughts are getting worse.

4.) I can’t trust myself to be alone

5.) 7/30/15 was attempted suicide that changed everything.

6.) That guilt I have from it is overwhelming

7.) I don’t know how to express myself

8.) I waited until it exploded.

9.) I have disassociation issues

10.) I’ve cried on the bathroom floor at 3 am

11.) I have an album on my phone titled “Remember what you’re fighting for.”

12.) I really want to self medicate

13.) I’m trying but it feels like I’m failing

14.) I don’t know what to do anymore

15.) I’m still here by the grace of God.

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