Category: Grateful Challenge

Grateful Challenge Day 11 Time of Day: Beach sunrises are breathtaking

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I love watching the sunrise there is something so calming about watching the sun peek over the horizon. The translucent colors beaming around the sky. If we are ever vacationing at the beach I get up early every morning to watch the sunrise. It is a close to God that I will ever feel. I feel at peace with everything and I feel like there He can hear me best. I have a dozen videos of the sunrise and pictures. When you see something so beautiful and bigger than everything around you it can help place things in perspective. Sometimes when I am having really bad episodes I find my videos and remember when we were on vacation all the fun we had and the serenity of my life. Sometimes with this disease it feels impossible to find a safe haven or something that will help you and I’m so grateful for mine.

Grateful Challenge 10 The book that changed my mindset

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I don’t like to read. I feel like I never have time and if I’m not interested about 10 pages in I stop reading it. These are odd words coming from someone who dreams of being an author. There is a large number of books I’ve read and of course the classics we were made to read in school. I will say that most of them required a lot of grit your teeth and make it through enough to sort of pass the test. If you have enough for context clues you can figure it out. This theory actually worked 95.2134 percent of the time. The one time it didn’t work and would never work is Greek Mythology. The only reason I passed any of those test is because I studied 15 minutes before the test and memorized it. (I use to have a kick ass memory.)

Now for this book. I am currently not in the mandatory therapy I am supposed to be in nor do I like self help books but this book made me feel better about every bad decision and all the issues I’ve gone through. Girl, Wash Your Face is not exactly a self help book but more like yeah I did that and the reason made sense but it is possible for me to change those habits. She doesn’t try to tell you how everything you’ve done in your life up to this point is okay because we can change. Our life isn’t over it can reset when we need it to and we can make the decision to change the path we are on. It is because of this that I started this blog and a little over 2 months later my success is incredible and it at or seem like much but to me it is a BUG DEAL!!

Grateful Day 7 – It is little luxuries

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This one was hard because I’m not a bragging person. I don’t like materialistic people or trying to impress anyone I just like small things that help me with everything. I guess if I had to pick a luxury I would say pens…..yes pens.

I know out of everything in the world I could think of with all of the electronics and things we have to make our lives simple I chose pens. You can’t replace a good pen especially a sharpie. This could just be the writer in me that always has a pen and paper no matter where I am. I know I could use my phone to keep up with ideas but I prefer to write them down. This picture is my current collection I keep in my purse. I use certain ones for different things but you just can’t beat a good ink pen. In school I loved to doodle and I listened better when I was doing something else like doodling. I remember one time a teacher went over this huge section about World War II and I drew smiley faces, peace signs and my name in bubbles, she got so mad and told me I wasn’t listening to a word she said until I repeated it all back to her in my own words everything she had said for the last twenty minutes she was speechless and I went back to drawing. I usually have to have multiple things happening to focus better. I was told that this is because of some part of my illness (it all blurs together). I still doodle and half ass listen to people but I’m smart so I can surprise people with how much I actually comprehended.

Grateful Day 6 – A random memory that makes me smile

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So I’ve tried not to be cliche’ on these challenges because everyone will say something like the day I got married, when my child was born, a job promotion but not me because I like it weird. This memory is me helping my husband clean a boat after he finally let me come home last year. I was still detoxing, felt horrible and this day was supposed to be the two of us spending the day together and work on some of things for me to a.) not go back to the hospital b.) able to stay home c.) make our marriage work d.) realize that the world can’t keep revolving around me…. you get the point but he had a last minute call for a job and he needed to take it so he left. I was sitting at home by myself detoxing feeling like complete and utter shit not just because I was coming off a manic drug induced high – getting kicked out of the house – wanting to pop more pills issue but I was looking forward to this time with him and I proudly did the opposite of what I would normally do which is get high and I called him to ask if I could come help him. You could hear the shock in his voice when I asked of course he said yes and texted me the address. I went over with headphones I shop vac and started cleaning a boat. We didn’t talk but I did see him look at me a few times and smile; I knew then that I listened to right part of my head the part that was almost sober and all I wanted to do after that was prove that I’d changed and I could be a better person more importantly a better example for my daughter. I look at this day even though it was something so simple it changed my outlook on everything.

Grateful Day 5 – Suicide -a word- it is powerful

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I know why would I be grateful about the word suicide but I am. I am grateful for the word suicide because it has taught me so much about myself, my struggles, my courage and how to love someone especially myself.

How does that work? Well in my case I had to try it a bunch of times and it not work for me to realize how much that word impacted so many people. They say we give a word power but do we really give it power? It is powerful in itself because it’s something that we lose power of ourselves to get to this point in our life. We can say the word but being there makes every word powerful. What do you think?

Grateful Day 4 It is the little things- a Trinket

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This was my great grandmothers necklace. She gave this to me when she passed away and at the time I wasn’t a believer so I threw it in a jewelry box, never thought about it again until 2015 when my life turned to a complete rock bottom I didn’t know how to get myself out of. I found this right before I was baptized and wore it when I was baptized. It now holds great meaning to me. I found my way back in my life when I needed it most. It is something that I can’t wait to pass down to my daughter.

Grateful Day 2 My favorite place.

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I have 2 biggest places that are my favorite they are also my hiding places so I can’t show them to you without incriminating myself so I decided to post my favorite place for the family to go, Amelia Island. We go every year for the past 3 years sometimes twice a year. We do the same things but there is something so relaxing about being there. It’s my little peace of heaven.