Category: populat opnions

Following in my footsteps

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My daughter makes me proud every single day, but right now I’m especially proud.

She’s starting her own blog.

If some of you have been here from the beginning, you remember me talking about my illness and how it’s affected her over the years. Eight years later, I’m watching her openly express her struggles with mental health and share her favorite Mac Miller songs with the world.

Watching her talk about bipolar disorder, anxiety, and self-harm isn’t easy for me. It never will be. Part of me carries guilt — knowing these are things she inherited from me — but more than anything, she is my hero.

The time she’s taken to truly learn herself… her illness, her triggers… and then choosing vulnerability anyway — opening herself up online knowing criticism, doubt, and know-it-all opinions will come — that takes courage. Real courage.

And while she may have gotten the struggles from me, she also got my ability to write.

I have tears in my eyes watching her right now. I’m so proud of her for being stronger than I ever was.

I hope she knows that one day, when she becomes a famous author, we’ll have this post to say I saw her at the beginning.

I’m adding her blog name to my bio so you can follow along with her life — her illness, her growth, and her college journey. It still blows my mind that she’s graduating high school in May.

I pray she listens to me and doesn’t let the world harden her heart the way it hardened mine at 19 — the way certain experiences permanently changed how I see life, and habits I’m still trying to break.

She is the very best parts of us, and I can’t wait to watch her conquer the world.

I know you’re reading this, monkey.

I love you, and I’m fucking proud of you.

Remember your mama when you’re famous. Don’t forget I’m always a phone call away. I can be anywhere you are in no time if you need me.

No matter how old you get, I’ll always be your biggest fan.

You will never be too old to need your mama.

I love you.

Goodbyes are a bitch

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Navigating Loss and Finding Light in the Shadows

As I sit down to reflect on the past couple of years, my heart feels heavy yet full. We lost two incredibly important people in our lives in 2023 and 2024—my in-laws, who are not just my husband’s grandparents, but the very people who raised him into the man he is today. They were our anchors, the loving souls who helped care for our daughter since she was born, allowing us to work without the burden of daycare costs. Their absence has left a profound void in our lives.

Losing them, especially so close together, has been an immense challenge for our family. My daughter cherished her grandparents more than anything else in the world, and watching her navigate this loss has been heartbreaking. My mother-in-law, who battled dementia, fought valiantly against the disease. She lived longer than most with that diagnosis, showing immense strength. My father-in-law’s decline, however, came as a shock. After falling ill in January 2023, his health deteriorated rapidly, and he passed away on April 14th. It felt as though his body simply gave up on him, and the world lost an incredible man.

For my husband, who had never truly experienced loss before, facing the deaths of his grandparents so closely together was a heavy burden to bear. I’ll admit, I was selfish during this time. When my father-in-law fell ill, I found myself praying for just a couple more years, hoping he could witness our daughter graduate high school. It was the only prayer I made, and it felt like a desperate plea.

But the truth about death is often overlooked: we tend to hold on to our loved ones, even when they are suffering. We cling to them because we fear the final goodbye, not realizing that our reluctance to let go can sometimes prolong their pain. Goodbyes are never easy; they never have been. Yet, we must remember that the relief from suffering is what should matter most. Life on this earth is fleeting, and we are given only a small piece of time to witness, love, and feel before we pass on. Each of us experiences a little piece of heaven, even if it’s just for a short while.

Amidst the tragedy, there were some unexpected positives that emerged. My daughter had the opportunity to meet my husband’s birth mother for the first time. At sixteen, this was a significant moment for her, one filled with both excitement and apprehension. We had shared stories about her birth mother, and while we had never gone into detail about the reasons for our family’s no-contact situation, we always felt it was important to protect her from the complexities of adult relationships. Seeing my husband, a man of few emotions, navigate the whirlwind of losing his grandad while reconnecting with his mother was both tragic and beautiful. It was a moment that encapsulated the complexity of love and loss.

As I wrap up these thoughts, I know there’s more to share—especially the juicy family drama that unfolded during this tumultuous time. Trust me, it’s some crazy white trash stuff that I couldn’t make up if I tried! But for now, I want to honor the memory of those we’ve lost and celebrate the unexpected connections that emerged from our grief. Life is a tapestry of joy and sorrow, and even in the darkest moments, there’s always a glimmer of light.

Thank you for being part of this journey with me. Your support means the world. 💖

Finding Serenity and Inspiration in a Coffee Shop

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Coffee Shop Chronicles: Finding Inspiration in a Cup

If you’re wondering why your feed is suddenly overflowing with my musings, it’s because I’m currently nestled in a cozy corner of Starbucks, soaking up the caffeine and creativity. Sure, I have Wi-Fi at home—trust me, I do—but let’s be real: my home is a distraction minefield. Between laundry, dishes, and the siren call of Netflix, focusing on my writing can feel like trying to catch smoke with my bare hands.

There’s something magical about being in a coffee shop, surrounded by the hum of conversation and the rhythmic clatter of keyboards. Most of my fellow patrons are college students, deep in their studies or typing away on their laptops, and their energy is contagious. It’s like being in a hive of creativity, and I can’t help but feel inspired to do some of my best work amidst the hustle and bustle.

Today, I’m on a mission to save up a stash of posts for weekly publishing. Life has been a whirlwind lately, with work and family commitments keeping me busier than a barista on a Monday morning. But today, I carved out some much-needed “me time,” and it feels like a little slice of heaven. All I want to do is sip my iced coffee, watch the cars zip by outside, and get lost in my own world of words.

I’m flipping between my book and this blog post, being extra careful not to mix them up. (No one wants a chapter about coffee shop musings to accidentally end up in a serious plot twist!) Being in a college town adds to the charm; the vibrant atmosphere fuels my creativity and passion in ways I can’t quite explain. I’m absolutely smitten with this town—the traffic, the energy, the inspiration lurking around every corner.

With my headphones on and a random playlist serenading me, I’m snuggled up in my corner, feeling like a writer in a rom-com. My goal is to save these posts for future publishing, and I’m hoping that after this, I can make it a regular thing. I don’t even know if anyone reads these anymore (hello, crickets?), but if you do, please drop a like or leave a comment on a topic you’d like me to tackle next!

And just between you and me, my ultimate dream is to one day be a famous author, sitting here in my favorite coffee shop, recognized by readers who have fallen in love with my characters just as I have. It’s a big dream, but hey, every great journey starts with a single cup of coffee, right? Here’s to more days like today—filled with inspiration, caffeine, and the joy of writing! Cheers! ☕️✨

Unpopular Opinion: Motivational Speakers are gaslighting narcissist’s

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The Not-So-Motivational Motivational Speech: A Comedic Take on Positivity

I know, I know—we all love a good motivational speech to gear us up for life’s little challenges. But hear me out! (Disclaimer: I am in no way a motivational speaker. I just share my shenanigans and struggles. Seriously, don’t look to me for advice; I can barely take my own, let alone someone else’s—especially my psychiatrist’s!) Have you ever really listened to what these motivational gurus say? Let’s unpack some of their classic lines with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of reality.

“You choose to be negative; make every day a positive one!”Ah, the classic “just think happy thoughts” mantra. Let’s dissect this for a moment. Sure, it sounds good in theory, but let’s not silence someone’s trauma with this sugary nonsense. Some days, my trauma gets the best of me, and that doesn’t make me a bad person—it just makes me human! We all have our off days, and sometimes, a bad day is just a bad day. So, if you’re up on your pedestal, preaching positivity while I’m over here wrestling with my inner demons, maybe take a step back and let me have my moment.

“You control your destiny!”Okay, this one has a kernel of truth, but let’s not get carried away. You can’t control what others do to you. You can’t control that person who cut you off in traffic, nor can you control that friend who “forgot” to invite you to brunch. Trauma is a tricky beast, and while it’s true that you can control how you react, let’s be real: sometimes we don’t pick the healthiest coping mechanisms. (Raises hand) Yep, I’ve dabbled in addiction as a way to handle my life’s curveballs. Therapy? Yes, please! But let’s be honest—some self-help books are about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

“You don’t have it as bad as other people.”This one lights a fire in my soul and brings out my inner Hulk. Look, you might not have it as bad as someone else, but guess what? You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes in someone else’s life! Minimizing someone’s struggles to make yourself feel better is just plain gaslighting. Everyone has their battles, and just because you’ve read a few self-help books doesn’t mean you get to determine the value of someone else’s pain. Each person’s journey is unique, and we should honor that.

“You choose to have a mental illness.”Oh boy, if only it were that easy! If I could choose to ditch my antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and sleep meds, trust me, I would. But here’s the kicker: you can’t just wish or pray it away! I’m hardwired a little differently, and that’s okay. So, let’s drop the judgment and let people be who they are.

Yes, I know this sounds a bit judgmental and maybe even a tad bitchy, but let me tell you about my Facebook timeline. I have this one friend who posts the same positive nonsense EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Why haven’t I deleted them? That’s a great question! They’ve clearly skimmed a self-help book and think they’re now the guru of wisdom. Oh, and they’re involved with an MLM, which makes so much sense now. They’ll throw out basic knowledge and then act like they invented the wheel.

So, use your own judgment, folks, but don’t let people like this make you feel bad for being who you are. They pretend their lives are perfect, but trust me, they’ve got skeletons in their closets just like the rest of us. So, let’s embrace our quirks, our struggles, and our beautifully messy lives. After all, life is too short to pretend we’ve got it all figured out!

Are magazines becoming obsolete?

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The Nostalgia of Print: Why I Still Love Magazines

The other day, I strolled into a store, hoping to find a Cosmopolitan to pair with my favorite candy bar. To my dismay, the shelves were bare. It was one of those rough days, and I found myself reminiscing about my younger years in a bustling city, where I would indulge in chocolate and lose myself in the glossy pages of a magazine—a world of luxury I could only dream of.

There’s something magical about flipping through a magazine. The vibrant ads for perfume, exquisite clothing, and stunning accessories transport you into a cinematic life, one where every moment feels glamorous. Sure, Cosmopolitan has an app that lets you read all the latest issues, but it just doesn’t capture the same essence. The tactile experience of flipping through pages, the slight stickiness from perfume samples, and the thrill of saving those little scent strips for a rainy day or an “emergency” occasion—those are memories etched in my mind. I can still recall the countless times I scrubbed those tiny samples into my skin, leaving it red but fragrant.

As a millennial, I fell in love with the dreams sold in the pages of Cosmopolitan, Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar, and Vanity Fair. Yes, the fashion often felt outlandish and the prices were far beyond my budget, but that didn’t matter. It was about the inspiration, the culture, and the escape these magazines provided.

Today, I’m heading to Barnes & Noble to lose myself in the world of print once again, even if just for a little while. There’s something soothing about the smell of fresh magazines and the way they whisk my stress away.

What do you think about the shift to digital? I’m reminded of a quote from one of my favorite shows, The Office: “Limitless paper in a paperless world.”

And to the magazines out there—if by some chance you’re reading this, I speak for all Gen Z and millennials when I say: please don’t stop producing hard copies. They are a cherished connection to our youth, a tangible piece of nostalgia we desperately want to hold onto.