19%

I had my 6 month check up with my psychiatrist today and we were speaking openly about suicide after admitting that I was having suicidal thoughts. We were also discussing the differences in being suicidal and having suicidal thoughts (that is a different post.) He said that 19% of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder take their own life and that equals like 1 in 5. Those odds are shocking for some reason. If you think about the big picture 2.3 million Americans are diagnosed with bipolar disorder. If I did my math right that equals out to 437,000 people. That means there are 437,000 people contemplating suicide most with no support from anyone.I am one of the biggest supporters for the AFSP but how do we fix this? What can we as the mental health community do to combat these odds? There are so many people who can’t afford medicine, therapy let alone see a psychiatrist to properly diagnose and help them. This is something we need to recognize and help each other. We aren’t going to receive any help from the government and there is so much of a stigma attached to us people refuse to publicly support it unless it is a celebrity who claimed to “recover” from it. We need to speak openly and honestly about our struggles. I think we can be the change if we become more comfortable being open and knowing even though they might not understand we can make them care. 1 person loss to suicide is 1 too many. Let’s start the conversation and help decrease these numbers.

Grateful Day 29 Childhood Memories. Important read

This is me with my Granny (my dads mom) I loved this lady even though when I was younger I didn’t understand what she was going through but before that and during even the hard times she was many things. She was paper bags full of popcorn, tons of food every visit, sausage biscuits on Christmas morning, turtle wrestler, gardener, fire keeper, every time I smell Salem’s I think of her, pool, frozen Pepsi’s, snacks for everything, Kerosene lighters, teacher of bubble gum bubbles, hider of bubblegum, homemade biscuits, any and everything you wanted, the reminder of my daddy, beautiful woman, number keeper, sick days at her work were so much fun, she was a beautiful soul and I can’t wait to tell my daughter more about her and now I understand her demon. My Granny struggled with alcoholism and she died when I was 18. I never understood for so long while my cousins and I weren’t enough for her to stop drinking. I always thought she was selfish for her drinking and she could control it, but she couldn’t and now after everything I’ve been through I understand her more. When I was 6 years old my Grandaddy (her husband) died and when I was 8 years old my Daddy died (her youngest son.) so she was going through a lot of grief and even though she tried to hide it from us we found out. I love her and of course just like everything else I wish I could explain to her that I understand now and I’m sorry for being such a close minded brat.