19%

I had my 6 month check up with my psychiatrist today and we were speaking openly about suicide after admitting that I was having suicidal thoughts. We were also discussing the differences in being suicidal and having suicidal thoughts (that is a different post.) He said that 19% of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder take their own life and that equals like 1 in 5. Those odds are shocking for some reason. If you think about the big picture 2.3 million Americans are diagnosed with bipolar disorder. If I did my math right that equals out to 437,000 people. That means there are 437,000 people contemplating suicide most with no support from anyone.I am one of the biggest supporters for the AFSP but how do we fix this? What can we as the mental health community do to combat these odds? There are so many people who can’t afford medicine, therapy let alone see a psychiatrist to properly diagnose and help them. This is something we need to recognize and help each other. We aren’t going to receive any help from the government and there is so much of a stigma attached to us people refuse to publicly support it unless it is a celebrity who claimed to “recover” from it. We need to speak openly and honestly about our struggles. I think we can be the change if we become more comfortable being open and knowing even though they might not understand we can make them care. 1 person loss to suicide is 1 too many. Let’s start the conversation and help decrease these numbers.

12 things not to say to someone who is passively suicidal.

I got the 12 comments from Mental Health on the Mighty but I wanted to write my own thoughts behind each of the comments because I’ve heard them all before. Sadly, we are stupid and think the absolute wrong things when it comes to suicide. I also want to leave the suicide hotline number for anyone who needs it. 1.800.273.8255 or text talk to 741741. Let’s get into the shitty comments:

1. “You would have done it already.”– Thanks for this. You know I was working so hard on trying to not do it, but your lack of empathy really made me reconsider that decision. I am struggling with it and when I open up to you that’s when you tell me this? I’m not doing it for fucking attention I need help but you know your lack of knowledge is proof as why we can’t talk anymore.

2. “Others have it worse.”– I’m glad you told me that. I have re-evaluated the entire decision based on that comment. I didn’t realize you were in my head so you know how bad it is. I didn’t realize you sat awake in bed with me completely paranoid or you knew about every time I clutched a bottle of pills trying to distinguish between yes or no. So yes because you are in my body and mind you have the right to tell me that others have it worse than me.

3.”Suicide is a selfish act.” This comment makes me want to hurt people…..I’m not kidding. It is easy for you to make this comment when you aren’t the one suicidal, but saying this to someone who is already vulnerable to make them feel worse about themselves.

4. “Don’t talk about that.”– What would you like us to talk about? Don’t ask us why we feel this way or what you could do to help just tell us to hold it in because I can guarantee you that holding it in makes it a thousand times worse.

5. “Are you really going to do it?”– Yep. I am and I’m going to call you while I’m doing it and give you every fucking second, better yet I will go live on social media so E V E R Y O N E can see it. Don’t ask people that question again ask how to help and not stupid fucking questions. Don’t be a dick.

6. “Everyone feels that way.”– Again I’m glad you are in my head and everyone else’s I didn’t know you were in tune with everyone’s emotions to know that others feel this way. I don’t think everyone is a manic suicidal person while I know there are some that feel this way I feel like not everyone does.

7. “Things will get better.”– No shit. We know this but telling us this doesn’t help. STOP RUINING MY ANXIETY ATTACK WITH YOUR POSITIVE THOUGHTS!! We are allowed to have moments or days. Don’t judge us or give us a hard time because we feel bad. Regardless of what you think we need to fall apart. If it is convenient for you then you shouldn’t be in our lives.

8. “Doing other things will help.” I am aware of this but right now doing something else feels impossible. We just want to let you know that we need help. Don’t make us feel like we don’t deserve your attention.

9. “Are you taking your medication?”– This is a bold statement to say to anyone, it is also very personal statement. I’m not going to ask you if you have PMS and are you wearing a tampon because it is none of my business just like my medicine is none of your fucking business. Ask supportive questions instead of stupid ones.

10. “Why are you not in the hospital?” See I was involuntarily but then decided I wasn’t a threat to people or myself and let me out so unless they think I’m dangerous I won’t be back in the hospital anytime soon. If you think the hospital magically changes our thought process it doesn’t. The hospital makes shit worse. Every time I’ve been all they do is push drugs on you until you bullshit your way through it enough to go home. The hospital generally isn’t helpful, but obviously you’ve been enough to know that.

11. “How dare you.” How dare you say I dare you. How dare you make any comment that isn’t I’m listening and I’m here if you need me. How fucking dare you belittle my problems because it doesn’t fit in your life. How dare you think that my life is an inconvenience for you.

12. “Have you tried positive thinking?” I positively thought that you are twat who has nothing more to bring to a conversation but have you tried positive thinking. If positive thinking saved everyone then why the fuck do we need medication and therapy. If we all thought positive then there would be no mental illness. You fucking idiot it doesn’t work that way.