Here is a sample of the book. It isn’t much and I’m a little paranoid. It’s a very small piece of a 4ish book series. This has been changed a little in the editing process. 
Tag: holidays
Should I sleep or should I shower? I could sleep in the shower but I’m starving
Have you ever been so tired that you don’t know what to do first? I’ve felt that way all day today. I was so exhausted when I got home I plopped on the couch and posted my “I’m still alive” on Instagram and then drifted in and out. I floated in and out of sleep for 30 minutes on the couch before going to bed. On nights like tonight my medicine enhances my already overwhelming urge to sleep but I did fall asleep on Wayne which is my favorite thing to do.
This morning The Wells Fargo app stopped working and sent me into a huge panic after having your information stolen before moments like that will make your heart stop. I am emotionally drained but what else is new. I just want to sleep the rest of the day away.
I’m really getting sick of this shit.
Home screen
Someone asked me one day about my home screen and so this is my home screen. There are pictures of my husband and I because he is awesome there were pictures with my daughter but because I am posting it I changed it to myself and my husband.
This is almost like showing you my diary, it is kind of strange. I just want you to know I DO NOT LIKE NOTIFICATIONS ON APPS. If you hand me your phone that has like 34243242 notifications I will hand it back to you, just take 5 minutes and clean it up PEOPLE.
First row:
- Text messages- I don’t get many of those anymore because I use messenger for almost everyone.
- Photos- Here is the deal, if I hand you the phone to show you a picture. DO NOT SWIPE LEFT OR RIGHT. There are and will be photos you do not want to see. I google weird shit and save pictures that will make you question many things.
- Camera- One of the most used apps on my phone. I take picture of everything (which is why you shouldn’t swipe)
- Calculator- This is my sad app. I use this app when I get paid to calculate how poor I am.
Second Row:
- Photo & Video: These are all photo editing, collage, filtering apps. My personal pictures especially of my daughter are here. I love these apps. If you want more info about any of those apps just let me know.
- Calendar- The only purpose of this being on phone is so I could see the date because I can never remember what day it is and check it regularly because I forget.
- Google- Google is google and it is another one of the most used apps on my phone.
- Utilities- It has my clock which is my alarm clock, settings just for WiFi, Safari when Google wants to be stupid.
Third Row:
- WordPress- Well this obvious my blog lives here and as much as notification numbers can irritate me I love looking at the number of likes I have.
- Instagram- This is the same. These two are my lifeline to the career I’ve always wanted so those notifications are never bad notifications.
- Hashtag Pro- This is my best friend I always use it before I post on instagram because it is so much easier to find the hashtags and make a list before posting. It is so simple I can do it. Just type them in copy and paste and you are done.
- Follow Track- Keeping track of your stats on WordPress is much easier than keeping track of your stats on Instagram and also breaking down those stats and insight to help you grow equally as complicated. This as my daughter calls it is an old persons way of understanding social media.
Fourth Row:
- Facebook- This is mostly my private account everything from my blog or instagram automatically posts on the Bipolaroutcasts page.
- Messenger- The only real way I communicate with people unless it is a text message. I despise calling people. I ignore almost every call and have my phone blocked to decline numbers that aren’t in my contact list.
- Timehop- This is my weird superstitious app that I have. So I love looking back at my facebook and instagram photos but I have to check it everyday and never let it lapse. I am really weird about it. It is a cool app and it is free so you should download it,
- Pinterest- I got the app back when you had to send you information in and be approved to join. That tells you how long I’ve had it or just how old I am. This is where I get ideas for decorating, workouts, food preps, things to do with my daughter, fun quotes and I do none of the items listed ever. It is a fun world of make believe.
Fifth Row:
- YouTube- When I am looking for a way to distract myself (not that I need any help) I am a YouTube junkie.
- SnapChat- I never actually post anything on my SnapChat I just use it for filters and to make silly videos I save and send to my friends.
- Tumblr- Still learning how to use it though I do have an account linked to my Instagram and blog.
- Google + – I just realized I needed to log in again. It just post from my blog on there. I don’t use it like I need too.
Sixth Row:
- Holy Bible- Yes even with the things I’ve been through and my filthy mouth I am a Christian. We take many different forms and obviously I am one of them. I do believe in God but also believe in other peoples right to believe what they like. I just want to add this: I will never disrespect you or your beliefs but you do not disrespect mine. I won’t judge you so please don’t judge me.
- Notes- There are so many blog ideas in those notes if I went through them also there are conversations my husband and I share when we are in church or someone else where we can’t really talk
- My water- This is my attempt to keep up with and hold me accountable to not drinking enough water everyday. It notifies me all the time by vibrating and asking have you had water today. Which I ignore and continue on with my business.
- Scrivener- Is a kind of expensive app I use to keep track of and work on my book. It is a great app but it is $20 and I need to send more book for editing.
My bottom bitch:
- Phone- If I actual need to call someone
- Music- All of my music lives here. I will delete other apps to keep my music if I have to.
- Bills and what little money I have is tracked here
- Mail- I have an email Bipolaroutcasts@gmail.com if you ever want to send me an email.
So this concludes the complete waste of 20 minutes that could’ve been dedicated to a good post that I wasted.
There are just days I can’t participate in life.
Today is one of those days. It is pouring down rain here and I can’t see well while I am driving and it makes me nervous I am trying to catch the dog because he is loose and I am scared he will get runover I am late for work, I forgot my umbrella then it happens…. I get a call from Georgia Power saying my prepaid account is in the negative and unless I cover the balance they are going to shut my lights off. I panicked and tried to make a payment but the prepaid card I keep for back up won’t work and I can’t get on their site or app to move money over and I don’t know what to do so I call my husband who again is a saint and saved the day with his debit card. I just to crawl under and a rock right now. I get to see my hubby and daughter for dinner so at least there is that.
Once in awhile you blow your own damn mind
Today I was very productive more so than I’ve been in awhile. I managed to catch up on almost all of my blog post and a good amount of instagram. I started up the Bipolar Chronicles again and slowly but surely they are being released every couple of days. This is more my daily thoughts, moods and going ons. I have managed to hyper focus and get so much work done. I am very proud of myself for sticking to my goals and getting anything accomplished. I am very easily distracted so for me to put the time and energy in to focus is amazing. It takes a lot of work but I am definitely on my way.
Stats:
No workout
75 ounces of water
Mood; 🙂
I’m just going to put an out of order sticker on my forehead and call it a day.
Today has been the day from hell. I want to be with my husband and daughter and I can’t be plus everyone around me is sick and grumpy. I want this day to be over already. I am off tomorrow and when I get home I know there is going to be tension because my daughter has a project for school and any school work at all with her isn’t fun because she gets aggravated and starts to fuck it up on purpose. I just want to be done for the day and crawl back in my bed and go to sleep.
Stats for today:
100 ounces of water
No exercise
Mood is 😐 and 😦
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those do matter don’t mind.- Dr. Seuss
I stayed up for New Years!! I got my kiss and followed the superstitions about not cleaning, spending money, washing, and eating greens, black eyed peas and ham for good luck. I love actually having a day off with my family especially a holiday those don’t happen very often but it also makes it harder to leave them because if I had my choice this would be my job and I would get to spend more time with them, but I need some miracles to happen for that. I am busting my ass trying to figure out the right formula to make this go viral. I realize that this itself is a job and everyday I am learning it more and more everyday the amount of time it takes to engage your readers, post, keep up with your social media. It can be a 5 or 6 hour day if you are behind like me. I need a manager to stay on me to get this where it needs to be. The last two weeks or so I’ve had a problem with peoples stupid opinions and critics of me and things I am doing wrong (according to them) and I can’t handle judgement very well so it bothers me and I don’t know how to fix it but good old Dr. Seuss reminded me to not let that shit get to me. So I am trying but it is hard to do.
Stats:
No workout
85 ounces of water
Mood: 😐 and 😦
Weekly Update 15
HAPPY ALMOST NEW YEAR!!!!
We have some awesome things to talk about this week.
My stats are booming for this year and I have greatly exceeded any all expectations.
I have discovered so much about myself
There are so many outcasts like me. (I love you weirdos)
I finally feel like there is a purpose in my life.
I made it through an ENTIRE YEAR plus sober!!!!! (That in itself is one of the best rewards.)
Thank you all for starting this journey with me.
I expect nothing but great things next year.
This year was just a start to what the bipolar outcasts can do.
See you next year/week.
(Final stats post on 12.31.18)
New Years Resolution
I know we’ve all done it before made a list of things we want to change and in January we work extra hard and things are going to change….then something goes wrong and we stop. When I decided to stop drinking sodas and drinking more water, I didn’t wait for the New Year I just did it because I needed too. I was extremely unhealthy and I could drink a 6 pack of sodas in less than 8 hours but I never drank water and no matter how much I tried I could never quench my thirst because I was so dehydrated. I made the decision and I stuck with it. I knew I needed to make changes for things to improve and my health both physically and mentally. So I will continue into the New Year to do these things and my biggest changes are for my Instagram and blog. I am going to try and have monthly blog posts for my goals monthly and yearly, improve my relationship with my daughter. I want to hold myself accountable for the changes I need to make so I can grow and become a better version of me. I also want to lose weight, save money and stop swearing so much but I say that every year and it happens for a while then it stops. I really need to be more consistent with this. I will on January put out my first list of monthly and yearly goals. We will still have weekly updates and posts of my shenanigans also the bipolar chronicles. I have a list of great things I want to accomplish and good content for my readers. So these are my resolutions and also go me!!!
– Blog goals
-Instagram goals
-Improve my relationship with my daughter
-Monthly goals
-Yearly goals
-lose weight?
-stop swearing so much?
-save money….wishful thinking
Weekly Update 14
WE ARE UP TO WEEK 14!!! THIS IN INCREDIBLE
- The holidays took up majority of my time so the blog is neglected.
- I’ve kept instagram up to date so check it out.
- I’ve started a gratitude journal. (Don’t worry it is coming)
- I’ve now decided to make a post about every inspiration quote I find for each day of my gratitude journal. Which means I may back date some post, but don’t worry it will not end up like those damn challenges.
- I really need to finish the bipolar Chronicles that are almost finished but I am lazy so yeah they are still in the draft phase.
- Starting January 1st I will weekly post (maybe) keep up with the fact that I really need to lose weight. I’ve almost come up with a workout routine.
- I am still on no sodas which has helped so much with my sleep and moods. I miss them sometimes but other times I remember how I couldn’t control myself and almost drank an entire 12 pack in less than 24 hours.
- I am currently not exercising.
- I finally caught up on sleep after my work schedule messed up my moods and sleep schedule. When I am off my routine chaos is always close by.
- I hope everyone had a safe and happy holidays.
- I plan to actually finish these and have enough to release on their own. This is a goal for next year.
- I will post my BIG PLANS for next week on the last weekly update of 2018.
♥ Daisies and Bruises ♥ 