Photo Day Challenge 20 weird brown tree

We went to the Botanical Gardens in March and the iPhone photographer and Instagram filter I am this is what I came up with. I like this picture because it is odd like me. I forget a lot about this picture but it was an amazing day. We took a long walk, a ton of pictures and a really cool car. I have small memories like this to remind me of the fun we had.

My past jobs, self incrimination and not getting sued.

So, in my last post about jobs I openly discussed Wal-Mart which later I was told that they could sue me. My suggestion is to go for it with that being said I want to start by saying this; the situations both legal/illegal will not be tied to any previous job exclusively. I will make a list out of a combination of jobs from 2002-2008 in no particular order. These are all PAST jobs and the bridges weren’t burned. I packed that son of a bitch with dynamite, fireworks threw a Molotov cocktail and made some popcorn and watch that bitch burn down.
I’ve worked in retail since I was 16 years old. I’ve done everything from bagging to assistant front end manager, scan coordinator, stocking basically everything under a store manager and assistant manager. I also worked at a bank but that is a different post. I am just going to list it because for some no additional information is necessary.

  • Overnight shifts- There is so many interesting things that happen. You become close to everyone. In the many different retail jobs I’ve had I usually worked overnight. Here is a few bits of info on how it used to be. We would stop working around 2:30/3:00 am and when I say stop work I mean no one did anything regardless if there were customers in the store. We normally sat on the patio furniture after “accidentally” leaving the cigarette area unlocked, solo cups that were “not fit to stalk” and beer that was “out of date.” Do you see why I am not bringing any names into this. So from about 2:45 to 5:00/5:30 no one did anything. We all sat outside and (there was also weed) discussed the worlds issues, mocking managers (yep it all goes down hill from here.) and finding other random items out of date or just for the hell of it. I still don’t understand to this day how we didn’t get fired, arrested or cause major damage to anything besides the patio furniture (you could blame that on customers).
  • Stealing- This is a very generic population of sentences. Sometimes when you are paid shit and put up with A LOT of bullshit from customers but especially from dickhead managers you feel this need to be extra compensated. You don’t steal money from your register because that is a one way ticket to jail (unless you were partly responsible for counting their drawers and you wanted them to go away.) There are also the cases when you knew where the cameras were. If there is one thing I ever learned from big box retailers it is how to find blind spots. You also become really good at figuring out the best way to make things disappear, without getting caught. You shouldn’t steal things kids even if they are paying you less than minimum wage and hardly anything for overtime. Is it okay to casually leave the cigarette case unlocked? Use the same receipt for food and drinks purchased that are over a month old but no one notices? Using a customers receipt to get things for free? Rewinding the security tapes so parts of the day are missing? Turn your head when you saw an underaged coworker buying beer? Placing bets on which employees the managers are fucking like it is a fantasy football team? Taking bribes for letting certain things slide? Overcharging people for extra money when you need gas? Ringing up the cheapest item multiple times and places the more expensive ones in the bag? Pretending to scan things but never actually doing it? The answer to all of these questions should be no, but if you are like me and several of these apply to you. I got respect for you.
  • Management– There was a lot of money made in inappropriate manager relations aka douchebags 101. I think in big box stores there is this level of useless completely useless garbage that is a requirement. You know those managers that treat you like you are just a number. When I was a cashier I had a manager who liked to snap his finger at us. He did it to me twice. The second time I commanded him to find his ass kissing assistant manager. I also have a list of things you should never say to a manager. This is almost like an encyclopedia of proper customer service skills in grocery stores and big box retailers. If you are interested let me know.
  • CustomersLET ME START OFF WITH THIS; THIS APPLIES TO ANY CUSTOMERS I DEALT WITH FROM 2002-2008. I possibly want to apologize for some of this but not everything. Things cashiers want to say to you.
        • I MEANT TO CRUSH YOUR EGGS AND BREAD. Yes you cunt nugget and while you are bitching about how hard my job could be and explaining to me exactly how to bag your groceries I took the pound of ground beef you swore was outdated and dropped it on your eggs. I took great pride in this and yes the smile you saw was from crushing your eggs and making you walk back to the dairy section to get them. This also applies to your bread, I have more than plenty experience on bagging groceries but your nagging of my lack of ability to multi task is when I took your frozen box of waffles and dropped it on your bread. Maybe drop isn’t a good word I smashed it on your bread and then laughed when I made you go back to get it.
        • I KNOW HOW TO COUNT. I get it we were cashiers and you think we have a low IQ but we can’t money faster than you. We can also add and subtract quicker than you do.
        • Fruits and Vegetables- Yes we know there are 20 different types that is why there are numbers on them so when you decide to peel off the numbers because you think it is unsanitary it takes us longer to figure them out. They don’t pay us to memorize everything.
        • Meat- FOR THE GOODNESS SAKE PLEASE PUT YOUR MEAT IN A FUCKING BAG!! It doesn’t add weight to your meat. The MEAT IS ALREADY WEIGHED!!! I don’t want your meat blood dripping down my conveyor belt. Just put it in a fucking bag.
        • I don’t care about your finances- I don’t care what excuses you give about why your card was declined or your check didn’t go through. Your lack of financial concern is none of my business, but you holding up my line blaming and cussing everyone you know is keeping me from my lunch. I also have to spend 15 more minutes that I’m not at lunch voiding out your entire transaction. We don’t get paid extra for that shit. We also have to put all of that frozen and refrigerated items back.
        • Your WIC and EBT- If you came through my line multiple times with your EBT card or wic and you play stupid it is annoying. You know what day your EBT card gets funded. There is a big fucking sheet that tells you about what is sic approved he’ll it is even in front of some of the items. I had a few people who were genuinely confused and unsure of it and usually if you ask a cashier they can explain it but if you keep coming in and acting like a dumbass we make fun of you when you leave.
        • Here is a hint: We make fun of you 85% of the time when you leave.
        • There is more to this but that’s all I got for now.
DON’T BE A DICK!!!!!!!!!

Grateful Challenge Day 19 and 20- yay for Socks something warm and soft

I am trying to get some of these finished so they are getting merged together. It is already 12/4/18 and these need to be finished.

Did you know you can buy fuzzy socks for cheap at Wal-Mart? You can never have enough. I love them especially when it’s cold and I am ignoring every other responsibility and watching Netflix. They also really work when I am stressed out they help me calm down. Calming down is very difficult most of the time so I will take anything I can to help make it better. My daughter is now obsessed with fuzzy socks too. She loves when we curl up on the couch with fuzzy socks, oversized sweatshirts, and watch a movie we’ve seen 1000 times. What makes you happy?

🖤 Weekly Update 9 🖤

Here it goes:

– I have no diet…. It has completely fallen apart like my moods and everything else around me. The only thing I can say is considered to be losing weight is the fact my anxiety is so bad I’m not hungry and have bubble guts all the time.

-No soda- I had water almost our entire trip (besides orange and cranberry juice. Lemonade, and Gatorade. I have this usual give up when we go on vacation because it is my cheat time, but I didn’t this time. YAY!!!!!

-I have felt so horrible with all the new meds added and then upping my dosage but nothing has changed.

– I am really starting to research hypnotherapy or something like it. All of my dreams follow around the same building and I don’t know why. It has nothing to do with what happened to me or anything else I can remember. This store closed when I was maybe 17.

-We went on vacation and then a day trip this week. I will blame it on that as to why I haven’t posted but it is just because my brain doesn’t work right lately.

-I am trying to make myself write something everyday even if it isn’t important or no way related to my blog.

-I am done with the challenges for awhile after this month. It is too much to keep up with and I feel like it is taking away from the other purposes of this blog. I will however, finish these challenges even if it makes my brain explode.

-I am making a list of mental health related blog topics.

– I am currently obsessed with the game Choices on my phone. It is like my alternate reality. I keep tagging them on Instagram hoping to get a sponsored add.

– If you don’t already please follow my Instagram I update it regularly.

-It is almost the holiday season and with that comes family entertainment which is never a dull moment.

-My dream is to have blogs set up to automatically post. (This is a big dream I will eventually accomplish.)

-I am currently obsessed with The Office and binge watching it on Netflix makes me happy.

-Thank you to everyone who is being patient with me through this time. I have a good content coming soon.

-My book is still where I left it. I want to work on everything but I feel like my brain will explode soon.

Until next week

Grateful Challenge Day 18- Bay window/Something in home

This is the bay window in our house. I love this window it signifies all the major changes in our life. We lived in a house that was free and my family owned which was great while we were getting our lives together and going through some major changes but in 2013 we decided we needed a change and moved into a condo that was way over our budget because we needed separation from everyone while we got the rest of our lives together. Our money situation was horrible. My husband and I weren’t used to rent. The last time we paid rent was in 2005 so it was relearning the process all over again. We wanted to buy a house, a house that was ours and no matter what we did it would stay ours forever. If you’ve ever tried to go through the process of buying a house you know how long and drawn out it is. We went through this process in 2005 as well while we were living in Athens and after paying for all the inspections and everything else the real estate agent made us do we could never get the loan. When we went to Bank of America this evil bitch made a joke about us going to Habitat for a house because it would be the only way we would be able to get one. Our credit wasn’t great; we weren’t really taught about credit or building your credit to buy anything. We had credit cards that were past due, over limit, and when we didn’t have money we just kind of said. “Fuck it.” This are definitely things we will teach our daughter, but we had to go through a ton of bad decisions to finally make a good one. The house we currently live in was a foreclosure and through some special circumstances we were able to move into this house. (We had a lot of help from family.) This house isn’t huge but for our small family it is perfect. We were able to make some improvements to this house and are continually finding ways to make it better.

Grateful Day 17- Song- Hallelujah my all time favorite song

Again I promise I am not a creepy stalker, but this happens to be my favorite actress singing my favorite song. This is beginning to seem a little creepy, but I must continue on, who knows you may like me being completely creepy, but I am not a stalker. After the election she sang this song at the beginning of the show and it is one of my favorite versions of the song. I actually love every version of the song except the original (which is odd.) I have a playlist with nothing but Hallelujah on it. I always look for new and different versions. There is something so raw about it and it really resonates with me and my illness. This song has also saved my life many times. This song can knock me out of dissociative state. I love the song so much it is tattooed on my arm. What makes you happy? Is there a song that helps you?

Photo Day 16 A genuine smile

I love this picture mostly because it is genuine and it is the only genuine smile I ever had in years. This picture coincidentally happened in 2015 when everything in my life went to shit. (see previous posts) This was right after the overdose before my baptism, exorcism and medical induced manic, schizophrenic, paranoid episodes. This was before I hit a new level of rock bottom. I was happy right there. I thought I was making everything better but rock bottom came after.