Runaway- Thanks Kanye for helping me with my shitty day

I had a bad day and I mean irritable, aggressive angry day. I was so agitated I started shaking and blacked out some and don’t remember everything I said. I was drained from the raw emotions coming out the real ness of my pain. I’ve learned over the years with my illness how tiring any emotions can be and the level we feel them is so exhausting. I am usually fairly good with handling my emotions but due to lack of sleep I am easily irritated. I don’t know have much to say about it, but I wish I could remember more. Just those bipolar days.

You are braver than you believe stronger than you seem and smarter than you think and loved more than you know.

I needed this today and I hoped it help someone else. It’s so hard to deal with life and all the shit going on around me and I can control it and it is killing me and I keep feeling that I am letting everyone down no matter how hard I try and when I try to tell people they act like I am asking for attention but I’m not I am asking for someone to listen to me and understand that I am not okay and I want you to listen because you want to not because you have to.

If it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you

Everything is a challenge for me. My illness is a challenge and it has done a lot to change me but recently everything that I hold resent has changed me and I don’t know what to do. I am faced with all of these challenges but I can’t figure out how to make the best better. I sometimes like the challenge because it makes me feel like I am almost human that I could possibly function like other people then I am reminded I am not like other people. I have a curse/gift (depends on the day.) that will forever make me different from everyone else. I don’t always like to be reminded of it. I really hope I make something out of this next year. Cheers to hope and wishes.

Shoot for the moon even if you miss you will land among the stars.

I needed something uplifting after the day I had. I am so stressed out with everything happening around me. I haven’t had a chance to update everything the way I wanted to. I need a vacation from everything. I am trying to figure out how to manage everything and be there for people emotionally, mentally and physically but it is so hard. I can only be a good support system for so long before I collapse and need you more than you needed me. I am trying to do better drinking more water but it isn’t helping at all. I need guidance over this next year on exactly what I should do. I feel like I am lost completely.

Have a little faith in me

Have a little faith in me. I kept telling myself to have a little faith in me and right now things are the greatest but I need to have faith that things will get better soon. I have to keep my eyes on the prize and remember I’m in it for the long game. I just need to have a little faith.

#faith #faithinme #strong #stronger #icandothos #support #bipolaroutcasts #foreverafighter #bipolarchronicles#johnhiatt havealittlefaithinme #roughday #readyforthisweekendtobeover #cold #musicforthrsoul #winedown #timetorrest

#planners #findthings #thingstomakeushappy #longterm #goals #prayers

My illness will make me stronger

I used to let it destroy me. It was the reason I went back to the pills and self medicating because it was so much easier than handling my pain. I also let my illness define me, it was my identity my name, my accomplishments didn’t matter I was nothing else but bipolar. After everything I am finally using my hardship and struggles to happen inspire others so hopefully they don’t end up in the same place I did.

#bipolaroutcasts #bipolarchronicles #foreverafighter #blogger #mentalhealthblogging #notmyillness #willnotdefineme #pills #selfmedicatin #dealing #dealingwithproblems #dealingwithissues #stronger #illnesswontwin #defineme #depthsofmysoul #deeproots #learn #learnfrommistakes #mistakes.

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

This is overly optimistic even for me. I feel like these quotes keep repeating themselves. Can you tell I need affirmation that I am doing the right thing or that this is what I am supposed to do? I have no idea what I am supposed to do, but I will never know until I try and I assume since all of you are still following and liking this that you are enjoying me and my posts. I waited too long to start this and even though I feel like I am failing one way or another I know I was never meant for a 9-5 job. I am too creative for everyday life, but how do I expand from here. ANY AND ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOMED.