Tag: mental health

Weekly Update 15

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HAPPY ALMOST NEW YEAR!!!!

We have some awesome things to talk about this week.

My stats are booming for this year and I have greatly exceeded any all expectations.

I have discovered so much about myself

There are so many outcasts like me. (I love you weirdos)

I finally feel like there is a purpose in my life.

I made it through an ENTIRE YEAR plus sober!!!!! (That in itself is one of the best rewards.)

Thank you all for starting this journey with me.

I expect nothing but great things next year.

This year was just a start to what the bipolar outcasts can do.

See you next year/week.

(Final stats post on 12.31.18)

New Years Resolution

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I know we’ve all done it before made a list of things we want to change and in January we work extra hard and things are going to change….then something goes wrong and we stop. When I decided to stop drinking sodas and drinking more water, I didn’t wait for the New Year I just did it because I needed too. I was extremely unhealthy and I could drink a 6 pack of sodas in less than 8 hours but I never drank water and no matter how much I tried I could never quench my thirst because I was so dehydrated. I made the decision and I stuck with it. I knew I needed to make changes for things to improve and my health both physically and mentally. So I will continue into the New Year to do these things and my biggest changes are for my Instagram and blog. I am going to try and have monthly blog posts for my goals monthly and yearly, improve my relationship with my daughter.  I want to hold myself accountable for the changes I need to make so I can grow and become a better version of me. I also want to lose weight, save money and stop swearing so much but I say that every year and it happens for a while then it stops. I really need to be more consistent with this. I will on January put out my first list of monthly and yearly goals. We will still have weekly updates and posts of my shenanigans also the bipolar chronicles. I have a list of great things I want to accomplish and good content for my readers. So these are my resolutions and also go me!!!
– Blog goals
-Instagram goals
-Improve my relationship with my daughter
-Monthly goals
-Yearly goals
-lose weight?
-stop swearing so much?
-save money….wishful thinking

Be the type of person you want to meet

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Yeah I am awkward and uncomfortable around people I don’t know I will avoid all eye contact and pretend you aren’t there until I have to talk to you. I have severe issues with social anxiety which considering my past jobs involve customer service and dealing with people maybe that is what made it worse. If you know me personally I can be funny. I have some of the best Snapchat filter videos that I randomly send my friends especially when I know they aren’t feeling well. I’ve also discovered jib-jab which may not be a good thing. 😂😂 I love making people laugh because I love to find an excuse for anyone to laugh it makes me happy to see other people smile and I know it sounds cliche for almost every person with mental health about making other people smile, but it is true as long as I like you. If I don’t know you or like you I could give 0 fucks as to whether or not you smile. As an extremely pessimistic person I don’t like people when I first meet them because that way if they suck I didn’t lose anything but if they are awesome then I am lucky. This theory causes me to push people away easily (hint hint) and keeps me from having lots of friends. It isn’t because I don’t trust people or any of that bullshit it is because I am extremely paranoid about my illness and the people I know it is okay if I act a little odd in front of, but if you don’t I feel like a bull in a china shop so I don’t say anything again I am really weird which is why I like the blog. I can’t see you judging me and making comments about me so there is less anxiety this way. There is always a method to my madness.

Runaway- Thanks Kanye for helping me with my shitty day

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I had a bad day and I mean irritable, aggressive angry day. I was so agitated I started shaking and blacked out some and don’t remember everything I said. I was drained from the raw emotions coming out the real ness of my pain. I’ve learned over the years with my illness how tiring any emotions can be and the level we feel them is so exhausting. I am usually fairly good with handling my emotions but due to lack of sleep I am easily irritated. I don’t know have much to say about it, but I wish I could remember more. Just those bipolar days.

Suck my dick volume 2

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If you haven’t read the first post entitled suck my dick. I wrote a letter to a bitchy mom on Instagram for my content but now it’s time for a second volume for the general public.

SUCK MY DICK VOL. 2

– Stop pill shaming people. Yes I take almost 1500 mg of medication a day and the reason I can function is because of said medication. I don’t ask you why you take 600 mg of ibuprofen Barbara so mind your own fucking business.

– If you make any comment that may suggest that my illness is weird I will lick my hand and wipe it on you. Just so you can “catch” it too. (That is totally how it works btw)

– On the pill shaming- don’t ask what it’s for and say yeah you need it….. You didn’t even know what was for 2 seconds ago.

– We get to make the jokes, it isn’t cute when you say, “hey I’m a little bipolar too.” It doesn’t work like that bitch. It’s not an adjective to describe your current mood. It is an actual illness. I don’t say omg my toe is so broken today. Yeah sounds stupid don’t be a dick.

– Lastly just don’t be a dick…. if it sounds stupid, ignorant, and rude then just DON’T BE A DICK!!

If you want to question the fact that I don’t have a dick just remember it’s probably bigger than yours.

Bird Box warning if you suffer with mental health.

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If you haven’t seen Bird Box I won’t ruin it for you I will just list the following triggers to make sure you want to watch it.

  • Suicidal thoughts or ideation
  • Disturbed cognitive functioning (if you don’t know what it is don’t look it up it will only add to your paranoia.
  • Easily triggered by things like The Purge, The Walking Dead or other apocalyptic television/movie.
  • If you are easily triggered by blood or gore.

I feel like I’m talking about warning labels to medication not a movie. I do have some concern and was a little annoyed with the fact that the “mentally ill” weren’t bothered by any of it. I just want to let you know that I am paranoid about a lot of things and the end of the world is a big part of it and that is why I can’t watch Walking Dead it fucks with my head. This movie kind of the same aspect except on a semi more realistic ideals. I usually inform most people that we are more of a danger to ourselves than other people majority of the time. Yep it was short and sweet but I just wanted to really warn people from the fucked it dreams I’ll have tonight.

Gratitude Journal

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In this uncertain and usually pessimistic outlook with my illness I realized I needed to start finding positive things that can combat the bad and we enter the gratitude journal. I am not one of those overly optimistic people who find great knowledge and wealth in every inspo quote out there. I do search through all of them to find one that matches me and how I feel that day. I need to start finding more positive ways to help myself since I refuse to see a therapist. I like to find reasons I am thankful and every reason to be happy I am still here, sober and I have found a purpose in my life. I was never meant to be just a 9-5 person I was meant for extraordinary things. So hopefully this journal will be a window into a different world I never knew existed. I am also going to talk about each quote I post everyday. (It will not be like a challenge I promise.

Here we go…..

Nations first supervised site for safe drug injection- An opinion and forum

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When I was scrolling through Facebook I saw a post of memorable moments from 2018 and this picture appeared.

This photo spoke to me for so many reasons. You can see the pain and truth behind the addiction, but you also wonder about the addict. I want to know if these people know they are being photographed in these moments do we help them or leave them in this state because it is better for a few dollars. Ok now that I’ve expressed those feelings let us explore the other part of this the bigger part of this. They want to set up medically supervised drug injection sites to combat the opioid epidemic. I read an article from NPR (I don’t always find it as a credible source but for this purpose I will use it.) These places will provide clean supplies, a safe place without fear or shame and is equipped with staff to help. Are we encouraging drug use because it is safe now? Is this going to help the opioid epidemic around the country? Isn’t this just going to piss off dealers when the government takes their business? Are addicts going to use this without worrying about being tracked by the government? These clinics do exist in Europe, Canada and Australia. It says that they bring their own drugs (I guess the dealers pockets stay lined.) The staff are also equipped to handle overdoses.

Canada’s studies report that it has supervised over 3.6 MILLION INJECTIONS and responded to 6,000 overdoses and no one has died….yet…. Well there is no negative sides of the site there is no proof that it is helping anything. I just think this is another way for the government to tax and control an epidemic just to make extra money. They take advantage of the weaknesses to make a few extra dollars. What do you think about this? Are we exploiting the worst in people for extra money? What if we offer safe clinics to help people with mental health issues?