Tag: quirks

Unpopular Opinion: Motivational Speakers are gaslighting narcissist’s

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The Not-So-Motivational Motivational Speech: A Comedic Take on Positivity

I know, I know—we all love a good motivational speech to gear us up for life’s little challenges. But hear me out! (Disclaimer: I am in no way a motivational speaker. I just share my shenanigans and struggles. Seriously, don’t look to me for advice; I can barely take my own, let alone someone else’s—especially my psychiatrist’s!) Have you ever really listened to what these motivational gurus say? Let’s unpack some of their classic lines with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of reality.

“You choose to be negative; make every day a positive one!”Ah, the classic “just think happy thoughts” mantra. Let’s dissect this for a moment. Sure, it sounds good in theory, but let’s not silence someone’s trauma with this sugary nonsense. Some days, my trauma gets the best of me, and that doesn’t make me a bad person—it just makes me human! We all have our off days, and sometimes, a bad day is just a bad day. So, if you’re up on your pedestal, preaching positivity while I’m over here wrestling with my inner demons, maybe take a step back and let me have my moment.

“You control your destiny!”Okay, this one has a kernel of truth, but let’s not get carried away. You can’t control what others do to you. You can’t control that person who cut you off in traffic, nor can you control that friend who “forgot” to invite you to brunch. Trauma is a tricky beast, and while it’s true that you can control how you react, let’s be real: sometimes we don’t pick the healthiest coping mechanisms. (Raises hand) Yep, I’ve dabbled in addiction as a way to handle my life’s curveballs. Therapy? Yes, please! But let’s be honest—some self-help books are about as useful as a chocolate teapot.

“You don’t have it as bad as other people.”This one lights a fire in my soul and brings out my inner Hulk. Look, you might not have it as bad as someone else, but guess what? You have no idea what’s going on behind the scenes in someone else’s life! Minimizing someone’s struggles to make yourself feel better is just plain gaslighting. Everyone has their battles, and just because you’ve read a few self-help books doesn’t mean you get to determine the value of someone else’s pain. Each person’s journey is unique, and we should honor that.

“You choose to have a mental illness.”Oh boy, if only it were that easy! If I could choose to ditch my antipsychotics, mood stabilizers, and sleep meds, trust me, I would. But here’s the kicker: you can’t just wish or pray it away! I’m hardwired a little differently, and that’s okay. So, let’s drop the judgment and let people be who they are.

Yes, I know this sounds a bit judgmental and maybe even a tad bitchy, but let me tell you about my Facebook timeline. I have this one friend who posts the same positive nonsense EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Why haven’t I deleted them? That’s a great question! They’ve clearly skimmed a self-help book and think they’re now the guru of wisdom. Oh, and they’re involved with an MLM, which makes so much sense now. They’ll throw out basic knowledge and then act like they invented the wheel.

So, use your own judgment, folks, but don’t let people like this make you feel bad for being who you are. They pretend their lives are perfect, but trust me, they’ve got skeletons in their closets just like the rest of us. So, let’s embrace our quirks, our struggles, and our beautifully messy lives. After all, life is too short to pretend we’ve got it all figured out!

Hiding my depression is exhausting

Bipolar Happens5 Comments

Yep it’s back the overwhelming feeling of anxiety and a low that feels impossible. There is so much going on around me with everyone who knows and helps with my illness I haven’t said anything. I don’t want anyone to know that I’m starting to get bad again. I don’t know if it’s because of the job change though I think that might have something to do with it. I knew at my old job I could be honest about my feelings and I can’t here this isn’t the type of place where you openly share this information. I made the decision not to disclose my illness and I still stand with that decision. I try to explain it to my husband but how do you put it into words even if I start there aren’t words it’s like my brain just stops working. I get up some mornings not knowing what to expect and I thought with all the medicine that I would have the ability to control the moods and know who I am in the morning but that isn’t always the case.  I know that it takes more than medicine for it to work but I openly refuse therapy. Therapy has do nothing over time but cause me more issues maybe it is because I can’t handle the issues and my coping mechanisms suck. I don’t know what to do I’m just so frustrated right now. This was really for me just to vent because I don’t know what else to do. My brain isn’t firing on all cylinders right now. Does anyone else have this problem or understand? 

Taking off the mask of depression

 

Suicide Letter

Bipolar Happens2 Comments

TW: Suicide discussed (also I am not currently suicidal it is something that I have written just to get it off my chest.)

Hello,

I feel like starting these letter with to whom it may concern to be to impersonal also because it concerns a lot of people. I know why you are reading this and just know it meant I was ready to go and I think the Lord was ready for me as well. I do believe that regardless of how I go that I will still go to heaven and I made peace with everything before I went but I know that isn’t how you feel. I know some of you are going to be angry, confused, upset and ask yourself why you didn’t see it coming; where were the signs? I don’t have the answer to that questions because they weren’t really there. It started off at ideation and grew quickly from there. There are letters addressed to my daughter, my husbands, my two best friends but for the rest of you this is the letter. I’m not even going to try that bs don’t be sad or anything else because however you feel the need to cope with it is how you will cope with it. I just ask when you do yell at me to refrain from using GD. I despise that word. This letter is just a blanket statement that I feel I am required to give so they know how to correctly identify it on my death certificate. I feel like the whole I’m sorry and extra bs in these letters is useless unless you were close to me. 

-Tarsha

Last Goodbye: Queen | All Things Next

19%

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I had my 6 month check up with my psychiatrist today and we were speaking openly about suicide after admitting that I was having suicidal thoughts. We were also discussing the differences in being suicidal and having suicidal thoughts (that is a different post.) He said that 19% of people diagnosed with bipolar disorder take their own life and that equals like 1 in 5. Those odds are shocking for some reason. If you think about the big picture 2.3 million Americans are diagnosed with bipolar disorder. If I did my math right that equals out to 437,000 people. That means there are 437,000 people contemplating suicide most with no support from anyone.I am one of the biggest supporters for the AFSP but how do we fix this? What can we as the mental health community do to combat these odds? There are so many people who can’t afford medicine, therapy let alone see a psychiatrist to properly diagnose and help them. This is something we need to recognize and help each other. We aren’t going to receive any help from the government and there is so much of a stigma attached to us people refuse to publicly support it unless it is a celebrity who claimed to “recover” from it. We need to speak openly and honestly about our struggles. I think we can be the change if we become more comfortable being open and knowing even though they might not understand we can make them care. 1 person loss to suicide is 1 too many. Let’s start the conversation and help decrease these numbers.