Tag: iPhone photographer

Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will

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This is overly optimistic even for me. I feel like these quotes keep repeating themselves. Can you tell I need affirmation that I am doing the right thing or that this is what I am supposed to do? I have no idea what I am supposed to do, but I will never know until I try and I assume since all of you are still following and liking this that you are enjoying me and my posts. I waited too long to start this and even though I feel like I am failing one way or another I know I was never meant for a 9-5 job. I am too creative for everyday life, but how do I expand from here. ANY AND ALL SUGGESTIONS ARE WELCOMED.

Believe you can and you are halfway there

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This seems almost impossible. It feels like every time I take one step forward with my new resources I am kicked back because of something. It seems once I get in a groove of posting on time and then something happens and I get thrown off again. I can’t seem to get steady. I don’t post for days and then I post over 20 and then silent again. If anyone has any ideas on how to make this more consistent I am up to listening for suggestions. I really want to make this successful and try to work it out where this is my job but again I have no idea what in the hell I am doing. I will keep on with these and the chronicles to see if I get somewhere?????

You are worthy of wanting something more

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 I always knew this, but I have never had the courage or the want to do something new. I am terrified of failure and of any consequences from telling my story. I have so many skeletons in my closet that the door can barely shut. There are so many stories about me that other people can tell even though they aren’t told correctly. I decided when I started this to leave a large portion of stories out to protect people though most of them don’t deserve protecting. I just feel like they are entitled to their part of the story also I know some of them have children and I don’t think their wrong doings is my business to tell them.  I would want the same respect though I don’t think any of them want to talk about anything that happened. I like to believe that people change and who they were 5 or 10+ years ago isn’t who they are today. I hope they have bettered themselves and I know they are living with the guilt of their decisions. So here it goes these are the stories of my life both good and bad even though they don’t deserve it.

Weekly Update 12

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– We are just going to completely skip the diet and exercise.

– No sodas or caffeine….almost I still drink coffee

– I am drinking more water than anything else right now which is great.

– I had a doctor visit today….

– No more challenges as I talked about last time.

– The Bipolar Chronicles are something I’ve worked on and I think I am ready to share them with the world. These are things that I’ve gone through from the time I was diagnosed. There are pictures and stories I’ve never shared before.

-Thank you for all of you support.

Let’s keep on talking

#bipolarstrong

🖤

Weekly Update 11

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– No diet happening but I’m still drinking water more

– No sodas still

– My sleep still sucks dick and my dreams are getting worse

– Next week is going to be jammed pack and crazy

– I AM FINALLY DONE WITH THE CHALLENGES!! Yay!!! *HAPPY DANCE*

– The good material is coming now

– That is all for now. Short update

– See you next week and thank you for your support!!

🖤

My tattoos and an Old Southern Baptist Church

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We go to a very Old Southern Baptist Church. I am a 4th generation member of the church, my husband is a deacon and I try to go whenever I can, but other aspects of my life limit me from going to church every Sunday. Today because of how last night started and the way I felt this morning I ended up at church with my husband. I forgot my sweater so my tattoos are out for display. I usually cover them out of respect for the church but I kind of it didn’t this time. While I know that the majority of the congregation has no judgement because they’ve known since I was born, but I still get those looks. I try not to let it bother me because I know the older members (when I say old I mean 65+) don’t understand our generation and tattoos. I will say they still shake my hand and talk to me their eyes still fixed on my tattoos. I know some of you are probably in shock that I go to church. I am a firm believer in God and his word. Today I just felt a little (lot) out of place with my tattoos showing. It didn’t stop me from worshipping though. It is almost Christmas and the advent candles it is my favorite time at church. So that’s my morning at church. My husband is in a deacons meeting which makes for a perfect time to write.

Photo Day 29- Broken

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I was rushing to work eating a biscuit from Golden Pantry when some asshole rushes beside me almost side swiping me and I yank my steering wheel to miss him and it slams into a drain on an island in the middle of the road and I dropped my biscuit which I was more pissed about. I had my husband meet me at the Golden Pantry to change my tire and I was over an hour late to work. People suck!

Grateful Day 29 Childhood Memories. Important read

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This is me with my Granny (my dads mom) I loved this lady even though when I was younger I didn’t understand what she was going through but before that and during even the hard times she was many things. She was paper bags full of popcorn, tons of food every visit, sausage biscuits on Christmas morning, turtle wrestler, gardener, fire keeper, every time I smell Salem’s I think of her, pool, frozen Pepsi’s, snacks for everything, Kerosene lighters, teacher of bubble gum bubbles, hider of bubblegum, homemade biscuits, any and everything you wanted, the reminder of my daddy, beautiful woman, number keeper, sick days at her work were so much fun, she was a beautiful soul and I can’t wait to tell my daughter more about her and now I understand her demon. My Granny struggled with alcoholism and she died when I was 18. I never understood for so long while my cousins and I weren’t enough for her to stop drinking. I always thought she was selfish for her drinking and she could control it, but she couldn’t and now after everything I’ve been through I understand her more. When I was 6 years old my Grandaddy (her husband) died and when I was 8 years old my Daddy died (her youngest son.) so she was going through a lot of grief and even though she tried to hide it from us we found out. I love her and of course just like everything else I wish I could explain to her that I understand now and I’m sorry for being such a close minded brat.