Tag: mental health week

No matter your past you can always begin again- Buddha

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This is perfect for New Years Eve because we can say goodbye to last year and hello to the New Year and fresh start. I did accomplish a lot of amazing things in 2018 so it is a bittersweet goodbye but a happy hello to the future. I am keeping up with my writing and my days especially my moods. Now that I am almost of sound mind (this is as sound as I can be.) I want to see if I can judge my mood changes. I am hoping for the best and swinging for the fences. I want to make a difference and understand my moods a little better. So here is to a fresh start…..

Goals before 1/1/19

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These are my goals to hopefully hit before 1/1/19. I think some are unrealistic but I’m going to try my best. I am off the next two days so I have plenty of time to post and dammit finally catch up on posts more specifically bipolar Chronicles. Do any of you have goals for the end of the year? I am beyond grateful thankful and amazed by all the love and support you guys have given over the last few months. I love you more than you know. 🖤😘

Don’t believe everything you think

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Any and everyone in the mental health community can tell you how hard it is, your brain is extremely convincing sometimes especially when it is something you are already insecure about. In another post I talk about my social anxiety and how I am uncomfortable around new people these are the things my brain says to me:

  • They know your teeth are fake.
  • They think you sound ignorant
  • They think you are a snob because you aren’t talking to them.
  • Your illness is showing
  • They can tell something is wrong with you
  • Don’t say that
  • I can’t believe you said that
  • They think you are stupid
  • You are crazy
  • They know you are crazy
  • They are scared of you
  • You look fat
  • You are ugly
  • Everyone hates you
  • Your husband thinks you are atrocious
  • He stays with you out of pity
  • He resents you
  • Your daughter doesn’t love you
  • Your husband doesn’t love you
  • You are a bad parent
  • Your daughter is disgusted by you
  • She can’t wait to get away from you
  • Your blog is horrible
  • Instagram is out of pity
  • Your friends don’t like you

You get the idea right. I am constantly fighting this everyday. It is hard and I tell myself that I am wrong. So I try to find things that make me happy and focus on them. It doesn’t usually work.

You are braver than you believe stronger than you seem and smarter than you think and loved more than you know.

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I needed this today and I hoped it help someone else. It’s so hard to deal with life and all the shit going on around me and I can control it and it is killing me and I keep feeling that I am letting everyone down no matter how hard I try and when I try to tell people they act like I am asking for attention but I’m not I am asking for someone to listen to me and understand that I am not okay and I want you to listen because you want to not because you have to.

If it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you

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Everything is a challenge for me. My illness is a challenge and it has done a lot to change me but recently everything that I hold resent has changed me and I don’t know what to do. I am faced with all of these challenges but I can’t figure out how to make the best better. I sometimes like the challenge because it makes me feel like I am almost human that I could possibly function like other people then I am reminded I am not like other people. I have a curse/gift (depends on the day.) that will forever make me different from everyone else. I don’t always like to be reminded of it. I really hope I make something out of this next year. Cheers to hope and wishes.

Shoot for the moon even if you miss you will land among the stars.

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I needed something uplifting after the day I had. I am so stressed out with everything happening around me. I haven’t had a chance to update everything the way I wanted to. I need a vacation from everything. I am trying to figure out how to manage everything and be there for people emotionally, mentally and physically but it is so hard. I can only be a good support system for so long before I collapse and need you more than you needed me. I am trying to do better drinking more water but it isn’t helping at all. I need guidance over this next year on exactly what I should do. I feel like I am lost completely.

My illness will make me stronger

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I used to let it destroy me. It was the reason I went back to the pills and self medicating because it was so much easier than handling my pain. I also let my illness define me, it was my identity my name, my accomplishments didn’t matter I was nothing else but bipolar. After everything I am finally using my hardship and struggles to happen inspire others so hopefully they don’t end up in the same place I did.

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