Last year I had every intention of dying before I ever saw my 34th birthday. I was suffering with severe mood swings, psychosis and in the process self medicating with benzodiazepines and not taking my medicine as prescribed. On my memories from Timehop there are several goodbye videos, and I found this. I wrote this note the first time I tried. Which was exactly a year ago today. I went to my spot on the lake with a bag of pills a Redbull, music and a made a video explaining how I wanted my funeral, to be cremated, the playlist on my phone for my funeral so I didn’t have to listen to shitty music as I watched from heaven. Tomorrow is my 34th birthday. Tomorrow I will be 34 years old and by the grace of God I’m still here fighting. We are counting to my first day of my life changing decision. It hasn’t been easy but in the process I’ve found me again. ❤️ I made it.❤️
Suicide is real.
My pain was real.
It wasn’t because I was selfish.
It was a permanent solution to a temporary problem. My illness will forever be a struggle and a permanent problem in my life.
Just call someone and tell them you love them and ask them if they are okay.
I am a survivor.
I am a person, not my illness.
I am not embarrassed or ashamed of my suicide attempt.
You shouldn’t be either.
F@$! judgmental people. They don’t matter.
Your story can save a life