‘Tis the season for Xanax, awkward conversations, unwanted family visits and all of the trigger anxiety you could possibly want. I am lucky because my family lives nearby so part of this is not necessary. I know people who have family staying at their house until the New Year and God bless them for that. I am excited I only have 2 more days to work and then I’m off for 3 days. We’ve had a lot of fun the last few weeks. We’ve decorated for Christmas, saw Enchanted lights at Rock City, went ice skating. I’ve tried not to think of all the things that give me crushing anxiety and deal with the downs I’m feeling. I wish I could feel better so my family doesn’t think I don’t want to be around them everything overwhelms me. I do like them 95% of the time like all families. If I am around people for too long it makes me exhausted. We go to my husbands grandparents house on Christmas Eve for the annual drinking and poker night which was a lot more fun when I used to drink, but now being the sober one it isn’t as entertaining because drunk people are annoying when you are sober. I take my medicine at the same time every night so I miss the most entertaining part because I pass out and fall asleep. Then there are presents. I have wrapped nothing yet and no one in my family is getting presents except for my daughter and nieces. Christmas is on a tight budget this year, but I got my daughter everything she wanted. She is an only child so she tends to get almost everything she wants. This year she wanted a guitar, red converses, camera, laptop and cell phone. It seems like a lot of money but it isn’t. The camera was $30, we are reusing an old iPhone that we have since my husband upgraded him and to make it prepaid it only cost me $30, guitar with stand and sheet music, $100, red converse $50 and the most expensive is her Google Chrome laptop at $230….holy shit I just added that up. It is A LOT more than I thought. The older they get the more they cost. This is a short list of what holiday life looks like for me right now. I’ll update you once the holidays are over.