You have to let go of your past

Today I went with Wayne to pick up a truck and we had to go to Lawrenceville. I despise Lawrenceville and for a good reason, that is where Summit Ridge is located. The damn psychiatric facility I was involuntarily held. I start to shake just thinking about that place a glorified hell hole which I felt like I would never escape from. The entire way there I stared at landmarks I remember staring at on my way to follow up visits which Lexapro was shoved down my throat (not literally but you get it) When I was finally discharged from that disgusting piece of shit they made me think that if I didn’t schedule follow up visits they would put me back in. I hated driving there to talk to the psychiatrist who makes his money working for the hospital and his private practice out of the hospital as well (he was profiting way too much fucking peoples head up.) When we were driving I could tell you where everything was and where the road was to turn on to the hospital when we passed it I got chills. I never want to be anywhere near that place. Wayne told me I need to let go of that because it was almost 6 years ago and he is probably right but it is hard to let go of it is what started this mental health journey. I want to never forget where I stood to where I am now and everything in between again this when I need a therapist.

We stopped to eat on the way back and he told me he was going to sell his truck and that was the first truck he ever bought, it isn’t currently running but it broke my heart because he told our daughter she could have it and fix it up. I was able to talk him out of it and we got our financial situation handled the best we can right now. I am just glad he isn’t selling his truck.

Moods suck dreams suck this trip didn’t help anything.

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