Bipolar Chronicles- Support (this isn’t another my husband is wonderful post)

The biggest thing about having a mental health is having support which comes in many forms and sometimes from people you would never suspect. So no this isn’t me gushing again about how amazing my husband is (we all know he is like a saint.) but my support is large and comes from many places like those of you who read my blog and Instagram. Your words of encouragement mean so much to me and the likes and follows on my account make me smile especially when I am having a rough day. Let’s talk about support:

-My best friend who unfortunately had to go through the shit storm that was 2015 with me even though we hadn’t been friends that long she still stood by me the entire time. I was so nasty and hateful towards her so many times and every time I apologized she said, “I forgive you.” She said it so fast without blinking an eye, there was no thought or hesitation she just forgave me every single time I pushed her away or said hateful things that hurt her. I hated her for awhile and saying it now makes me sick to my stomach. I hated her because she was always happy and understanding. I hated her because I was jealous of the type of friend she was able to be and I could never return it to her. I hated that no matter what she was always there because sometimes I just wanted her to go away. I tried to push her away so many times but she never budged. She would text and message me everyday and I wouldn’t respond she is persistent because she never stopped. I think back now to all the people who would run away but instead she stayed and was able to withstand the tornado I was stuck in.She is a true example of a good Christian and an amazing friend. If you are lucky enough to know her keep her in your life good people like her are hard to find.  In case you are reading this I love you. I love you for the amazing person you are, I love you for never giving up on me and for standing beside me through everything for every reason I hated you, I love you for now and I know I’ve told you this many times but I just wanted to say it again.
– Facebook groups- These are a bad idea and after being kicked out of 3 I would advise you to stay far away for them. Older women can be extremely petty more so than younger woman. I was in the first group and became popular/hated because as I will later find out the majority of the women in these group did not have any mental health issues they just wanted to bitch/attention from random strangers on the internet (insert hypocrite with a blog) They also wanted to cause problems where there weren’t any and if any of you are reading this and remember any of the 3 groups I was in you will remember that I told you that you never win if you play dirty and that is why all of you had a fall out you created problems that weren’t there. You also need to not lie about having DID because it is a serious illness and almost impossible to diagnose so to all of those bitches please suck my dick. Just don’t promise it isn’t worth your energy
– Tater- If you are friends with me on Facebook or seen post on Instagram I have a friend I call Tater. Where did Tater come from? I have no idea but it just works so I call her Tater. I’ve only known Tater for almost 2 years but she saved my life and we’ve never met. I live in Georgia and she lives at least 500-600 miles away. We met on one of those Facebook groups (the only good thing to ever come from it.) It was 2017 and I was manic and suicidal. I kept going live on Facebook while I was popping pills and drinking whiskey (that was the smartest thing I ever did.) and on the last one I took a bunch of pills and she called my husband. This woman who at the time new me for a couple of months blew up my husbands messenger, phone and whatever else she could to get in contact with him because I passed out and I don’t know what  would’ve happened if no one knew what I did. After that we became twins and instant best friends. We are there for each other in a way that is hard for other people because we share the same illness. It makes our friendship hard at times because two bipolar people can offset the other, but we make it work and just like every relationship I am in with people it is complicated but I love her and hope to meet her one day the person that saved my life.
– Anonymous 2- I have to limit these two because of other privacy reasons but I love both of them. Anonymous 1 was the very first person to read my book. I have a great deal of love and respect for them. They also knew when things were going bad and would deal with me in a different way. They were a security blanket for me and even though they aren’t in the same area anymore we talk all the time and I know if I ever need something they are there. This person saved my life multiple times and also would call bullshit on a few things I did. They are one of the biggest influences in my life and it is amazing how in such a weird circumstance we met and became friends. Anonymous 2 is the same thing. I want to say more but I can’t. Thank you both! I love you more than words can ever express.

I am so blessed to have such a large support system because it is something hard to find. I wouldn’t be where I am without them.

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