Today I woke up shaking and my chest started hurting and I know what that means PANIC ATTACK symptoms. Those are fucking awesome and exactly what I need to happen while I’m at work. I keep trying mindful meditation but it isn’t working. I have more time to be here and I need to focus but I can’t and I know when I get home that means a date with the bathtub to calm down. I’ve listened to Mac Miller’s Swimming cd on replay as much as I could today. That usually helps everything out and drinking OJ. I find comfort in these small things to try and make my day better. I wish I could explain to people how it feels when I am stuck in such a horrible place and I don’t know how to get out or ask for help. I know this feeling may go away temporarily but it will be back.