I can’t feel anymore. I want to feel something again.

Guess what?!?! I am depressed. I’ve avoided saying it by using words like low, no energy it is time I just used the fucking word d-e-p-r-e-s-s-e-d just defuckingpressed. I have no emotions. I can pretend like I do and smile in your face but I am actually empty inside. I can stare at the same dot on the wall for an hour and not even realize I am doing it. I love when people say things to me like “you don’t smile much anymore.” “you always look sad.” “Why aren’t you talking to me anymore?” “Did I make you mad?” “You are so emotional and dramatic.” You get the point. I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t afford to be out of work and even though I am listed as having a disability what assistance do I actually get. It is so hard with mental health to ask for what you want or need to people who may not always understand.

I would really like to feel something anything but I have nothing I am just empty.

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